"Brush your hair!"
"Put on make-up!"
"Wear some proper clothes!"
"Smile for the camera!"
"You need a hair-cut!"
“Look feminine, graceful!”
I don’t owe you anything. I am not hurting anyone by not brushing my hair as much as you’d like, or not wearing make-up. The only thing I’m damaging is your desire to control others, and your narrow-minded scope of how others should look. You’re welcome to decide what’s acceptable for yourself, but you’re not going to decide for me.
Not everyone is interested in looking attractive by another’s standards, not everyone worries themselves with looking attractive, period. You can’t say, “You’d look so much prettier if you just…” without saying, “You look so much uglier because don’t.” Life is brief, if someone doesn’t want to focus on their appearance, let them be. You do not need to intervene. It’s not the people who dress differently, who march to the beat of their own drum, who need to change, but the attitudes of those who think we need to be like everybody else before we can be accepted or treated with respect.
Most importantly, the way someone looks is never an invitation for you to violate, rape, maim, kill, insult, bully, abuse, ostracize, or discriminate. It is never an excuse for your inability to control yourself. That is your responsibility, and yours alone.
If you love someone, you’ll let them be themselves, cherish them for it, and if you don’t love someone, then you should already know that you have absolutely no business in telling them how to look.